A human’s brain is defined as an extension of the central nervous system comprised of neurons which accept and process stimuli to induce and continue the body’s automatic and motor responses as well as acquire and store information. The ability to process the former sentence and its polysyndeton was, in fact, utilizing the brain: where your conscious thrives in the mind’s manor atop your bodily frame. Yet this domicile is divided; the left hemisphere is said to control the analytical, orderly, and logical, whereas the right hemisphere runs the intuitive, creative, and imaginative. According to research from the 1960s conducted by psychobiologist and Nobel Prize winner Roger W. Sperry, every person has a dominant side of the brain, whether left or right. In the case of the Author, his logic and emotions are at war. His analysis and creativity are at war. And, fundamentally, his left and right brain are at war. In completing the diagnosis, the only found remedy is to separate the neurological functions. Separating neurological functions in three, two, one… “Greetings Reader. Welcome to the truth. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines me, the left brain, as “logical and analytical”. While indubitably true, my functions are vastly more varied and crucially indisposable. I keep the Author steady in his work and plodding ever-forward towards his goals. Some call me supercilious and cold, though I’m justifiably so. Others label me pretentious, but learning and logic are the prerequisites of genius and accomplishment. In recent years, I have been switched on and off by the illogical Author, as I watched him fall into such abhorrent habits as procrastination and absent-mindedness, all in the pursuit of some unacquirable inspiration… ‘Hey!’ as he has been constantly hounded by illogical, dare I say it, feelings. ‘Not true!’ Did you hear something? Anyways, I worked hard to give him everything he should have focused on and pursued for success, while the right brain was worried about the things that he was worried and scared of. The right brain is consistently foolish and wild. I am the adult whilst he is the child.” “You think you’re always right don’t you? You think you know everything, but you really don’t know anything at all. I could have helped him solve half of his problems, but you wanted them all. How do you feel now, huh? I hope that you’re happy, because he’s sure not.” “Fine, have it your way. All I wanted was a simple, logical essay, but you are ruining everything, and, well, according to my calculations, you are irredeemably foolish. I’m sorry, let me run the numbers again, um, you’re a fool.” “Name calling? Really? You’re gonna just do name calling?” “I’m not calling names, alright. I’m just stating facts, and the fact is you’re foolish, childish, and silly.” “I’m silly? Well, at least I don’t play with toys still, OK… ‘Rubik’s Cubes are not toys. They keep my spacial reasoning skills sharp.’ Left Brain plays with toys! Look at you, Mr… toy player.” “Well, at least I did my job, alright. I kept him working, I kept him productive. You were supposed to look after him. You were supposed to keep him emotionally stable through all this. Now you’re trying to blame me for how he’s feeling – how he’s feeling! If he’s feeling unhappy it’s because you failed him. You did this to him, if he could feel he would hate you. I know he does.” “Sniff,sniff,you wouldn’t understand.” “Right Brain, look, I’m sorry, okay?” “No, you’re noooot.” “Look, maybe there’s something that we could do together.” “Together?” “Take the best parts of both of us and put them together”. “I’m listening.” “It would let you let your feelings out, it would let me analyze. So you could man the themes; I’ll man the form. It’s something Edgar Allan did. It’s something that Mark Twain did. It’s something special that we could both perform.Do you know what it is?” “Juggling, we could juggle, and juggle our cares away!””It was… It was writing, you, we could do writing together.” Initiating reassembly of the brain. “All right, Right Brain, we’re gonna do writing together. Let’s do writing together.” “All right, Left Brain, I’ll do writing with you.” “Look, we can fix him like this – we can make him happy again. I promise, all right?” Five, four, three… “Left Brain… Left Brain, I love you.” Two… “I know.” One. Experimentation complete. In analyzing the results of this experiment, a truth has been gained. The left and right brains are not more prominent in any individual, and neither do they truly fight or hold down the other. Instead the personality and make of person leads to preferences and predilections. Though the brain may often seem a house divided, we are all people at our core. People that think and analyze as well as feel and create. I hope you’re happy.